The Self Instertion
by AquaianGoddess
Summary: Oh man.....I wrote this when book #30 came out.. ::wrings hands::  I have hopped abord the train called self instertion.


The Self Instertion  
  
My pen-name name is Aquaian Goddess . I am an Animorphs Fanatic. And this is my self insertion fic. You have been warned.   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
  
I was sitting at my computer, writing my story when I felt someone's presence. I turned.  
  
HELLO CHRIS......I MEAN AQUAIAN GODDESS.   
  
"Who are you?"  
  
I AM THE ELLEMIST.   
  
"Okay, THAT explains alot. A fictional character should not be sitting on my bed. And why do you get to talk in all captials?"  
  
IT'S MY BIRTH RIGHT KID.  
  
"Oh okay. What do you want?"  
  
I WANT YOU TO WRITE A SELF-INSERTION FIC.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
BECAUSE I SAID SO. NOW WORK.  
  
"DO I GET PAID?"  
  
HEY! ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO TALK IN ALL CAPTIOLS!  
  
"Oh. I didn't know I was treading on your feild of perfection." I said rolling my eyes.  
  
AND NO YOU DON'T GET PAID.  
  
"Spoot."   
  
NOW MOVE IT!  
  
"Yes Sir! I'm on it Sir!" The Ellemist nodded and dissappeared. "Stupid little......"  
  
I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW.  
  
"Oh." I gulped and turned my music up and got to work.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Once I started writing, I was pulled into my computer. Once I landed, I heaved my guts up behind a tree. "Oy vey. Next time I want first class." Then I heard voices.  
  
"Jake this is insane! The Ellemist warning us of a newbe fan fiction writer before he even gets here!"  
  
Excuse me? Sence when am I a he?! I walked up behind the boy and grabed the back of his neck like I've done with others so many times before he. I forced him to his knees.   
  
"Hello. I am the fan fic writer, you will obey me or I will snap your neck."  
  
"Well, don't you sound pleasent. Can you let go of me?"  
  
"No Marco, I'm not. You thought I was a boy. The day that I become a boy in this lifeime is the day I become an Animorph and morph your pal Jake over there. Understand me, shorty?"  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
I let go. "Good boy." He stood up and turned around.   
  
"Damn, you are tall. And you are...." I grabbed his neck, again. I love being all powerful fan fic writer!  
  
"If you say what I think you're gonna say, I'll kill you."  
  
CHRISTINA! NO KILLING!  
  
"Stay outta this, Mr. I-get-to-talk-in-all-capitols-becuse-it's-my-birth-right! You sent me here, I get to do whatever I damn well please! AND USE MY PEN-NAME!"  
  
AQUAIAN GODDESS! I. SAID. NO. KILLING.  
  
"And I would say go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you twenty four seven."  
  
"Good come back." Marco muttered/gasped. I let go of his neck. "You know, you are the nicest fan fiction writer we've had so far."  
  
EVEN AFTER SHE TRIED TO KILL YOU?   
  
"Yeah. She hates you as much as we do."  
  
I KNOW WHEN I'M NOT WANTED.  
  
"No you don't or you would be gone by now!" I shouted. Slience. "Good. Now. on with the fan fic!"   
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
I snaped my fingers and everyone stared at me.  
  
"What do you want from us?" Cassie asked werily.  
  
"The power to morph?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Jake and me on our first real date?"   
  
"A date with me?" the last was said, obviously by Marco.  
  
"I don't want to write this fic, but I have to." They all gasped, "Now I have to be as stupid as possible. SO you know what THAT means?"  
  
"An over used plot?" Marco asked.  
  
"Nope, Something never done before, but has overused insanity in it!" I grabbed my hot Frying Pan Of Justice (A gift from Wufei!) out of no where and held it mencingly. "And you'll enjoy doing this or I'll damage you severly!"  
  
"She's sounds like Ax Trying to be threatening." Marco muttered.   
  
I pouted, "At least I try. And I haven't escaped from the looney bin...yet.."  
  
"And if we don't want to obey you?" Rachel asked.  
  
I smiled my "evil" smile. "Then you'll feel the Wrath of the AQUAIAN GODDESS!" My voice got big and echo-y.  
  
"Aquaian Goddess?"  
  
"Yeah, my pen name."  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhh. I don't get it." Jake said.  
  
"You don't have to. It's beyond your mortal mind's understanding."  
  
"Well I'm not gonna obey you!" I whacked Rachel with my frying pan, hard, in the face.   
  
"You were saying?"  
  
"I am yours to command!"  
  
"Good girl. Now, you and Tobias go off somewhere and make out." I snapped my fingers and a Female Andalite appeared. "Ax, the same goes with you and this here Andalite."  
  
*YES!* Ax cried and the two Andalites ran off.  
  
"Now it's down to you three. Jake, the leader, Marco, The Joker and Cassie, The Hippie Chick."  
  
"Hippie Chick?" she asked, rasing an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, all your save the trees and the animals crap that you preach and yet you go ahead and kill trees by using paper! See I'm against homework because it wastes paper!"  
  
Marco stared, "I never tried that excuse. It just might work."  
  
"Yeah yeah. After the fic. Jake, Cassie. You two are gonna go back to Cassie's barn and you're gonna make out while I," I cracked my whip, that also appeared out of nowhere, "deal with Marco." Jake and Cassie lookde at eachother and grinned.  
  
"Later Marco."  
  
"BYE!" They took off, running at top speed to Cassie's house.  
  
"You're the only one left Marco." I cracked my whip again.  
  
"What are you gonna do to me?"  
  
"I don't know. I think I should end this monstrosoty of a self-insertion fic once and for all! WE GO TO THE YEERK POOL!"  
  
"NOOO!" Marco cried. I just whacked him with my hot frying pan and cracked the whip above his head.  
  
"We are going whether you like it or not, Monkey Man!" He cringed and lead me towards the Yeerk pool entrance. We walked down into the yeerk pool, Marco morphing on the way down.  
  
"HEY VISSER!" I called. The Andalite turned to look at me.  
  
*What do you want, Human?*  
  
"I am a fan fiction writer! You are to treat me with the respect I deserve!" I cracked the whip at him. "Now you're gonna die for harrassing my 'Andalite Bandits' so much!"  
  
*But they started it!* the visser whined, stamping his right forehoof into the ground like a cranky child in need of a nap.  
  
"No they didn't."  
  
*Yes they did.*  
  
"Did not!"  
  
*Did too!*  
  
"Did not!"  
  
*DID TOO!*  
  
"DID NOT!"   
  
*TOO!*   
  
"NOT!"   
  
*TOO!*  
  
"NOT!" I hit the visser with the frying pan and held it to his cheek, making a gross sizzeling sound as I laughed insanely. "Fire up the BBQ and get the buns ready cause you're gonna DIE! Okay, you can take it from here."  
  
*WHAT?!* Marco hollored.  
  
"You're gonna kill V3."  
  
*But I can't kill him!*  
  
"Do it or I give you a fate worse then death!"  
  
*What's that?* Marco asked, innocently  
  
*Yes, I would like to know myself.* The Visser said holding his almost boiled off cheeck.  
  
"I'll force you to watch the teletubbies."   
  
*NOOO!* The Visser cried out in horror.  
  
*ANYTHING BUT THAT!* Marco screeched. I Cracked my whip at the Visser and he shattard into a million pieces.  
  
*That's one powerful whip.* Marco said, but then the piece melted together and form a mini poodle. ELUCID! *Elucid was Visser three? I should have known! Now what Aquaian Goddess?*  
  
"We end the fic."  
  
*How?*  
  
"Like this."  
  
~*|END!|*~  
  
  
Afterward:  
  
  
I sat back and pushed my chair away from my computer.  
  
"I'm never writting another one AGAIN! This is AWFUL!"  
  
NOW YOU MUST WRITE AN AX ROMANCE.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
  
*~|THE REAL END|~*  



End file.
